The One in the Hole
by DPLxStrife
Summary: Ruby gulped nervously, sweat trickling down her face as she observed the insanity now residing in the floor. "Um, Professor, why is there a cow in the floor?" Port laughed darkly, his mustache quivering. "Edgar is the one in the hole. He is there to protect you." Rated T to be safe, crackfic based off of AH's Lets Plays


_**A/N: Drunk me came up with this one-shot idea after reading two epic 'Port goes crazy' fanfics (one by blaiseingfire and the other by Cormag Ravenstaff). This idea is based off of the Minecraft Let's Plays, and since his voice actor is named the Mad King, why not have Port act like that?**_

 **The One in the Hole**

 _Summary: Ruby gulped nervously, sweat trickling down her face as she observed the insanity now residing in the floor. "Um, Professor, why is there a cow in the floor?" Port laughed darkly, his mustache quivering. "Edgar is the one in the hole. He is there to protect you."_

Professor Port. Known at Beacon Academy for his long-winded stories of his feats from his youth. Also known for his fear of mice and his extreme love of himself. Come on, the guy had a gold bust of himself, for Oum's sake.

Many of the first year students (mainly Teams RWBY and JNPR) questioned his sanity at times. The story of how he ripped a Beowolf's skull out of its head and beat it to death with said skull was the product of many strange rumors and speculation. They couldn't understand how that was even physically possible.

But today, as Team RWBY and Team JNPR filed into Professor Port's class, they saw that the room had a new addition. There was a five-by-four rectangle of glass in the floor, and the students heard a strange noise coming from the spot on the floor.

"What the hell is that noise?" Blake asked, her nose in her smutty book as usual. She tried to pay attention in Port's class, but his rambling was too hard to follow. She'd rather stare at that katana. Bow chicka bow wow.

"I don't know," Yang mumbled, yawning as she took her seat. She kicked her feet on the desk, clearly more interested in her daily ritual of reading smut with her partner than paying attention in class.

"It sounds like…mooing?" Weiss's brow furrowed, and the Ice Queen brushed her skirt down as she sat down. She was probably the only one apart from Ren and Pyrrha who paid any sort of attention.

The students all ran towards the glass rectangle, peered down, and let out a unified gasp. There, several feet below and looking as though it wasn't horrendously beaten or tortured, was a single black and white cow. "Mooo…."

Everyone was silent as Professor Port walked in, laughing as he saw them all crowding around the hole. "Aha! I seen you have met our newest addition to our classroom. I'm sure you will feel quite safe around him, hehehehe…"

His slightly serial killer-esque laugh did nothing but scare the living piss out of the students, and Team JNPR quickly ran to their seats, looking at the Professor with wide eyes. It was official; Port had gone completely insane. Under normal (or what passed for normal at a school that launched undergraduates off of a cliff) circumstances, Team RWBY would have run out screaming for their lives.

But for some reason, some very odd reason, they stuck around. It was interesting, in an incredibly creepy way.

The cow didn't seem to be in distress, but it didn't look particularly happy, either. It was clear that Port had to have gone insane, because who the hell locks a cow in their floor?

Ruby gulped nervously, sweat trickling down her face as she observed the insanity now residing in the floor. "Um, Professor, why is there a cow in the floor?"

Port laughed darkly, his mustache quivering. "Edgar is the one in the hole. He is there to protect you." His insane laughter echoed throughout the classroom, and Ruby quickly hid behind her sister, shaking as the crazy madman knelt down to press his face against the glass. "Edgar will never cease to be. Because he is always the one in the hole."

"He is there because he wills it to be that way. We exist because I, the Mad King, allow it. Never forget this; Edgar is always watching you. He will be there when you're awake. He'll be there when you're asleep. And most importantly, he'll be there to see every last one of you bow down to his master," Port laughed. His dark, booming, and incredibly crazy laugh rattled the windows, and the students ran out of the classroom in fear for their lives and sanity.

And that is how Team RWBY and Team JNPR learned of the manifestation known as Edgar. With Professor Port as his master, it was only a matter of time before Remnant bowed down to the one and only Mad King of Beacon. Oum have mercy on us all.

 _ **A/N: Well? What do you think? Should I keep this as a one-shot, or have it as a full story? Please, tell me your thoughts below in the review section, and till next time,**_

 _ **-DPLxBeAsTxSnIpE signing off**_


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